You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
