I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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