Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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