as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
