You're completely useless in the revolution.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
