Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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