Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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