we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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