she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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