Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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