I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
