In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
