Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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