you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
