you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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