Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
