I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
