I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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