in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
