dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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