apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
