I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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