she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
