I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
