i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
