I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
