I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
