Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
