She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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