It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
