put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You smell like stripper and shame
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
