Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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