i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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