If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
