Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
