I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
