thus making me awesome and them whores
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
