i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
