Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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