He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
