Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm jealous of your bromance
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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