It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
