just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
