I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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