If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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