She said her name was "party"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
