yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize