I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
