oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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