Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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