I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
