apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
