batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
