Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
