PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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