were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
