So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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