I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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