I am spending my child support on dildos
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
