She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
